The Nonlationship

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I would not have fixed up any of my friends with this man…but I trust that this ws good intention.

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It left me feeling less than, like, does my gf think I should settle for someone like that? No judgment anymore. He was pleasant. She was trying to do her best. Most likely. MrP contacted me to ask if I would barter sex with boating, and I said no.

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He then texted me saying he was bored as there was nothing else to do last night , presumably wanting me to invite him? I just said I am sorry he is bored and wished him a nice weekend.. A 26 year old I had a few dates with, and briefly was a lover, wanted to go out with me today. At first I said yes, and then I changed my mind as this is just about sex and I am not interested. It is hard to not feel frustrated right now, but you know what? I have decided to force myself out of this funk. Now, I have decided today to just please myself and date the one person that always has my back and nobody elses, the person that loves me unconditionally, the person that is cute, sweet, has a nice body and is fun to spend time with.

I decided to date ME for the whole day. I decided to talk and listen level 2 to myself, love myself, only do things I enjoy and if I feel sad and lonely then I will love my feelings. I do not need to further engage with men that are not coming towards me, men that I do not enjoy dating, men that just want sex or men that hit me up when all other women are busy and they are bored.

Naturally, I had the compulsion to beat myself up today, for making mistakes, I was doubting myself, feeling less-than and like I will always be alone.

I started the day sabotaging me. I understand completely I am also tired of repeating the same situation over and over again with G. He would be upset….. I would give him time to rethink and then get back with him. Or he would contact me when he was happy and needed something. I ask myself the same question now. Why did I let it go on for 2 years????

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He is unavailable!!!! I feel angry, defeated and miserable at times. I feel at my age I figured I would be different…. We will move past all of this and become stronger on the inside and feminine on the outside. This is my goal for Needing some advice…. I have decided not to CD until I figure out what I want and stop the same old patterns of dating. I start my private coaching on Tuesday. Do you think stopping CD for several weeks or should I continue CDing during the coaching process? I feel very proud of you and how you handled MoM and his situation with his ex… You said alll the right things… shared your feelings with him and your boundaries!!!

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You deserve MUCH more!!! I am inspired! I must admit, I am not feeling great…and am procrastinating at home. I shall force myself to get out there now. I am trying really hard not to get stuck. Trying hard to be loving to myself when all I want to do is punish me by staying inside and feeling sorry for myself.

I miss him, he treated me nicely and was very loving and kind and affectionate. Though I have to wade through short term pain for long term gain. It could not have gone on like this. Without feeling safe and secure, every new phonecall from the ex demanding him and his time, would have had me feel off balance and bad and sad and jealous. So, here I am. I received great help from the Rori coaches I know you will too…. I am sending you LOVE and huggggsss!!!

YOU are brave bringing up dicey topics Azure!

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  7. I find that almost impossible. I flipped out when I found mom on pof a few months back… I have a lot to learn…. Now that I am thinking about last night… I was careful to only have two glasses of wine… But maybe I need to cut it back to one… I think how I was acting last night… We were getting a lot of attention from everyone… perfect strangers we are both very attractive people I felt like a princess… I felt happy and spoiled!!

    I hear you. Mine has been going on for such a long time now. There is a pattern emerging — one day on, one day off!! When I try to create feeling messages about the pain, something feels off. So, I decided that when the pain is upon me, then I take myself off on my own and I talk to my inner little girl. So raw and painful? I hug her and talk with her some more and let her cry, and she lets me cry, and we know that we are one and the same being. More effective to do this when not in the intensity of the pain — wait til it subsides. We are both feeling warm and excited about the prospect of our new life, and the choices we will make romantically.

    The pain still returns, but both of us can face it together and it seems to pass thru a little more easily each time. It is a case of building a new relationship to the pain. Thank you waterfall! Alone is my default anyway, so it comes naturally. I sit by the ocean, watching boats go by with a big Mojito…lol.

    Truly, it coul be a lot worse. Trying to live in the now!

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    5. Wow, AD was really coming towards me last night. He said he wants to marry me! This was our 4th date! I told him I want to take it slow, 2 dates a week…he wants to seem me more. He bought me a bouquet of orchids! So beautiful. And here I am floundering, all alone, noone is helping me. I hate him! Wow so triggered I could feel my face get hot. I have some releasing to do. I can help myself.

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      Wow, Violette, that sounds like an amazing date! He wants you to marry him and its only the 4th date, wow! You are definitely a siren, girl, enjoy your exquisite sirenocity and have fun! So cool! He could hardly keep track of anything, much less plan out his trip to my area. He kept asking me questions as if looking to me for guidance.

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      And we ended up sitting at the table in the restaurant for over an hour before we even ordered food. I was absolutely famished. He really misrepresented himself in his profile. He was so scattered and off the wall when he spoke about what he did for work, I still have no idea what he does.

      I feel like I had a date with a lunatic and got to peer into the mind of someone who was literally bordering on being out of touch with reality. What a nightmare!!! Emerson, it seems you are on the right tract and you have all the power here.

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      FW gave you some really right on things to consider. Be kind to yourself as you process this topic. If it were me I would not change my number or block.